Six Challenges

 

 

  1. Being Social

I am a very antisocial, introverted person. I come off as social awkward and to be honest, I probably am.  It’s terrible; I can’t just talk to a person without stammering on my words and making a fool of myself. It’s very stressful.

i guess the question here is "do I force myself to be social or not.

 

  1. What Will I Do?

With life, I mean. I simply have no earthly idea! It’s almost pathetic. As a child I had so many jobs in mind and I was worried about having to pick one. Now it seems I have narrowed the list down to zero. I don’t know what to do.

 

  1. Friendships.

I’m terrible with friendships—I hate having to hang out with other people a lot. Once in a while is nice, however constantly is just horrid. I am short tempered and people seem to find ways to push my buttons just right by simply existing. Though I do not lash out on people, I just dwell on my own emotions and i'm sure that isn't too great for my mental health.

i know friendships are a huge part of mental health, though. So I still have to make sure I do not lose them. The question is one i face frequently: Should i hang out with them or should i not.

 

  1. I’m My Worse Critic.

Drawing, writing, over all living. Terrible. I hate everything I do or say or think and how I look. My self esteam is probably the lowest it could posbly be. I always seem to blame myself for everything--

"Oh this drawing is terrible because you don't practice enough" . Why I think like this? I compair myself to my father--a tattoo/airbrush artist. He's paid to do what he loves and I don't think I'll ever get to that point. I mean, I have been paid for drawings before but not often enough to make any sort of living.

"This story is just horrid! Why do I even try? I'm horrid when it comes to english..." That's true. the only thing I have going for my writing are these elabrate story lines and characters. My spelling, vocabulary and grammar are probably compairable to a sixth grader's.

"I'm so annoying, I need to keep more quiet." Around people I know that is. i always fear people do not like me for whatever reason. As a child I was always the "third wheel"so that may be why I believe such.

Though, through out all this, I have to admit how I see my pysical self is getting better! It's not great but it's better than before. I guess I've just embraced I'm never gonna be as pretty as modles and all my friends and such and just learned to live with it.

The question here: Do I stop critiquing my myself so much or not?

 

  1. Why aren’t you home…?

Oh look, finally family has come into play with this list of six. This one isn’t as bad, however I feel the need to say I am sick and tired of mom not being home. She’s always out with friends or dates. Then there is my dad—he doesn’t make much of an effort to see my brother or I. Then, every time mom leaves my brother and I home alone he takes great joy in bugging me/harassing me.

I don't know what the question here is. Should i still stay home or go out? Adress my problem or not?

 

  1. Boys And Girls.

Dating. It appears all of what little friends I have seem to date or have dated.  I almost feel like I’m being left out of something. Is there something wrong with me? I dearly hope that’s not so! This one doesn’t bother me much, I’m just a little curious (even if a lot of aspects of dating don’t really appeal to me). I also am to blame, though. I spend all this time coming up with these romantic stories with this fictional characters and feel that I shouldn’t write these love stories without actually understanding this whole idea of “love”.

So my question is, should I date for these silly reasons or not?